Political humor (not provided by the campaigns themselves)

[thatcrazycajun]

What with the change of power in Congress this coming January (and my previous post about the Toast of the Four Peoples), I am reminded of one of my favorite jokes about politics, which I picked up from the autobiography of the late former US House of Representatives Doorkeeper, William "Fishbait" Miller (D-MS). (His book, by the by, is a highly entertaining read, particularly if you're as much of a politics junkie as I am. It's called Fishbait: The Memoirs of the Congressional Doorkeeper (1977) and was co-written with Frances Spatz Leighton. More info here.) He reported that, back in the day, there was a ritual exchange of toasts between members of Congress that neatly expressed the competitive rivalries between states' delegations in the House. It went like this:

First Speaker: Here's to the American Eagle, That noble bird of prey; He flies on high Over Illinois (pronounced "Ill-uh-ni" here) And poops on I-oway.

Second Speaker, in unvarying response: Here's to the state of I-oway With its fields so fertile and rich, We need no turd From your God-damned bird, You Illinois son of a bitch!

So...what's your favorite political joke? Post it here. It need not be clean...but it damned well better be funny.

Comments

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

One of my favorites has to be this campaign jingle (and you thought attack ads were a recent phenomenon?):

John Wesley Gaines,
John Wesley Gaines!
Thou monumental mass of brains --
Come in, John Wesley,
For it rains.

[scifantasy.livejournal.com]

Anything the Capitol Steps did.

[osewalrus.livejournal.com]

Chip Pickerng's recent cameo in Borat.

In the more literary vein:
Winston Churchill, after he lost the election in 1945, remained a member of Parlaiment. He was using the urinal when in walked Charles Atlee, head of Labour and the man who had replaced Churchill as PM.

Churchill zipped himself up, moved to the urinal at the end, and resumed his business.

"Feeling standoffish today, Churchill old boy?" Asked Atlee.

"Just a mite protective," responded Churchill. "I know anytime you Socialists see anythig really big that you envy, you try to nationalize it."

[thatcrazycajun.livejournal.com]

Hee. That reminds me of the one where two Senators met in the Senate urinal and one appeared to be, shall we say, a bit unusually focused on his exposed endowment. The other said to him, observing this, "Well, Senator, are you pointing with pride...or viewing with alarm?"

[thatcrazycajun.livejournal.com]

Another favorite Churchill anecdote: Some snooty woman once criticized Winnie for ending a sentence with a preposition. He replied, "You are absolutely right, madam; that is precisely the sort of thing up with which I shall not put!"

And don't EVEN get me started on his legendary, long-running feud with Lady Astor...

[zsero.livejournal.com]

Australian story, probably apocryphal: An MP, in the course of his speech on the floor of the House, says "I'm a country member...", to which another MP shouts out "Yes, we remember".

I've never heard a name attached to the first party in this exchange, for obvious reasons; the second part is often attributed to Gough Whitlam.