Obama finally comes out in support of marriage equality...alas, too late for North Carolina

[thatcrazycajun]

smallship1 has expressed irritation with me on Facebook for complaining about yesterday's historic statement by President Barack Obama that his views on same-gender marriage have finally finished "evolving" and he supports marriage equality for all. For those not on FB, here's the text of my posting and his reply:

Me: "I have only one thing to say: IT'S ABOUT GODDAMNED TIME!!! And at that, he had to be pushed into finally coming down on the right side by Biden and Duncan."

Him: "It's amazing how even a really major step forward can be parlayed into "gosh, he's lucky we're still willing to give him the time of day". Doesn't matter who pushed him. Doesn't matter why. Doesn't even matter if the people who want this are happy about it, or complaining because they wanted a blue one with polka dots. He said it. That is what matters. May it mean more to the people who are undecided than it obviously does to us."

Well, yes, I recognize it is a Big Thing indeed for a sitting US president to take this position publicly, particularly in an election year. And I recognize that agreeing with LGBTQ equality in, say, military service or housing is one thing and for far too many people, the emotion-fraught baggage attached to the word "marriage" is quite another, especially in a society such as ours which has for far too long made little to no distinction between marriage as a religious institution and marriage as a legal contract enforced by government. It may well have been a real struggle for Obama to come around on this; even the late former singer and US Representative Sonny Bono, whose daughter Chastity (now his transgender son Chaz) was at the time in a lesbian relationship, admitted he could not bring himself to "go as far as you need and deserve" in consenting to allow same-sex couples to be recognized as legally married.

But that being said... Five years ago, Obama campaigned on promises of working for equality under the law in ALL matters pertaining to queer citizens. And to be fair, he has done far more than any of his predecessors toward that end. But supporting the cause in all matters save this most crucial one—often quite literally a matter of life and death, in the case of hospital privileges, insurance coverage and even funeral/burial arrangements—is the sort of half-assed support a cause desperately fighting against right-wing bigots and religious zealots both here and the world over does NOT need. It's almost worse than his being fully on board, because it's frustrating and incomprehensible to many of us that anyone (particularly a Democrat, who damned well ought to know better!) can somehow be okay with ending sexual-orientation discrimination in all other areas but this.

I'm sorry, but motivation does matter...as well as timing. Even as important a step as this is, I would be a lot more impressed with Obama on this if he hadn't had to be just about dragged kicking and screaming into it..and if he hadn't been pressed to finally quit waffling by his Vice President and his Secretary of Education publicly stating their support—and by big gay campaign donors threatening to withdraw theirs of him...and if he had used the biggest, loudest public-policy megaphone in the world to push this sooner, so that maybe enough undecided North Carolina voters would have been motivated to prevent the atrocity the Tarheel State voted into law this week. Thanks at least in part to his prolonged, gutless refusal to take a firm stand on the side of right, 30 states have now enshrined marriage discrimination into statute law and/or their constitutions. Only six now legally allow same-gender marriage; as my Songbird points out, that's a five-to-one ratio against equality.

If that makes me seem ungrateful, so be it. But I no longer have any patience at all with people determined to stand in the way of my many queer friends being counted as full citizens under the law...or with supposed "allies" who fold like a cheap card table when the going gets tough politically. I'm glad he's finally done what he must have known in his heart was the right and just thing...but the cynical, disillusioned activist in me still can't help echoing Daffy Duck and saying sarcastically, "Thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin!"

Comments

[zanda-myrande.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you got the fallout. You were just the last of many, and I was beginning to get the impression that Mitt Romney might just get elected in November on the strength of people's annoyance at Obama for not moving fast enough.

I'm still not sure if you're actually saying that the cause doesn't need his support ("the sort of half-assed support a cause...does NOT need" seems to indicate that). To my thinking, half an ass is better than none, 2012 is better than 2024, and any support that is actually support is desperately needed.

Obama is, after all, a politician, and if he weren't he wouldn't be president. Saying this now, and not sooner, is a hook; he can only make good on his words if you elect him. If you don't, he can't. If he had indicated his support sooner, his supporters would now be accusing him of dragging his feet on implementing it. This way he's got time to put together a strategy he can unveil next year. It's manipulative, it's cynical, and it's still a hundred per cent more than his opponents will do.

Or maybe it isn't cynical at all, and he genuinely had doubts that he had to work through and resolve.

I do understand the impatience and the anger, and again, I'm sorry. I am just afraid to the point of irrationality of what will happen to the world if the other lot get in again.

[redneckgaijin.livejournal.com]

For my part, I believe Obama's "support" will be empty words... words as empty as, "No one is above the law," re: torture, or, "We will help those who are underwater on their homes," re: the federal mortgage restructuring system that accelerated more foreclosures than it prevented, or, "We cannot balance the budget on the backs of those who can least afford it," re: his offering to put Social Security and Medicare on the chopping block in an attempt to get Republicans to agree to a bipartisan deficit deal.

"Support" means getting out there and campaigning for gay equality. It means fundraising to fight the ballot initiatives in Washington and Maryland to overturn gay marriage in those states. If all Obama is willing to do is give lip service to supporting gay marriage while saying, at the same time, it's a state and not federal issue... to hell with him.

Posted on both LJ and Facebook

[admnaismith.livejournal.com]

CENT ONE: Somewhere in America, there are center-right blue dogs and pragmatist politicians who are on the edge, trying to decide whether it's safe to do the right thing and support marriage equality. Maybe in marginal or even hostile distr...icts. The day will come when we will ALL look back and wonder why it was even controversial; however, in many parts of the country, it is an act of political courage to come forward. In too many parts, it is politically dangerous because of the number of assholes who vote.

When one leader comes forward, the reaction of supporters of marriage equality is important. It tells those on the fence whether it is safe, whether those who come forward can count on having new friends and allies to have their backs as they pay the price of alienating some others.

The contempt and hatred I've seen dumped on Obama from SUPPORTERS of marriage equality shocks me. He's getting it from the bigots right now because of his decision, which is to be expected. He should not be getting it from the people he just reached out to.

Somewhere, a centrist or pragmatic member of Congress who was considering following Obama's lead just read a post like yours and decided, "Better not. The right will hate me and the left won't have my back."

CENT TWO: You say that Obama might have influenced the Amendment One vote in NC, had he come forward earlier. Seems to me, that would be a valid point if the NC vote had been close. In fact, the Amendment passed overwhelmingly, more than 6...0% in favor, and almost every county outside the research triangle. An Obama gesture of support, or even several over the last few months, might have added five percentage points or so to the "no" column; it would not have stopped the vote.

In fact, the most likely immediate consequence of Obama's stance is that, while the polls up to now have shown him narrowly ahead of Mittens in the tarheel state, he is likely to lose it now, though he will still win the election handily without it. Might lose a handful of midwestern states too.

The overwhelming anti-gay forces in NC will be persuaded, over time, just as they were over interracial marriage, but it will take years, not weeks. Obama's statement of support will not make most of them support equality more in the short term. It will make them support Obama less. What seems to us as a no-brainer is, at this point in history, and act of political courage with a price. I thank him for it.

Re: Posted on both LJ and Facebook

[zanda-myrande.livejournal.com]

And this is what I *should* have said...

Re: Posted on both LJ and Facebook

[pocketnaomi.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Cent #1 was virtually exactly what I was intending to say, but you said it better than I could, so I'll just shut up and agree. Cent #2 isn't something I would've bothered to say, but it's true as well.

I think the reason a lot of people have been dumping on Obama for not going far enough is precisely that the timing coincided with the NC vote, which means that a lot of us were too heartsick over the loss to really feel and bask in the victory. I was one of those, but I had the sense not to drop it on Obama directly (or whoever is counting responses for him), and sent thank-yous through several channels. My public response is basically as positive as I can make it, because of the people you so accurately describe who may be watching to see what happens. I can't be entirely positive because I'm just too upset at the magnitude of the NC vote -- I didn't think we'd win it, but I thought it would be a lot closer -- but I recognize that the President's statement is as useful as we make it, and I want to make it useful. Which requires supporting it.

[lemmozine.livejournal.com]

I agree, but there's a part of me arguing with the two of us, and that part wants to speak, so I'll allow it.

150 years ago, slavery was legal in parts of our country. It's been a LONG struggle, and yes, there is still rampant racism and discrimination, and it's still as evil as it ever was, but it's undeniable that there's been some progress.

30 years ago, 20 years ago, even 10 years ago, no one would have believed this country could elect a black president. However I may feel about Obama's positions on the issues, I am very proud to live in a country that was able to break that barrier. Perhaps in a future nearer than I imagine, we'll elect presidents who are of Spanish descent, openly LGBT, atheists, female and so forth. I would very much like to see that. Are there any gay atheist latinas who might run? That would be great. Be nice if she was also left-handed and had an under-control mental disability.

The point is, although we may not like how slow it's been, and while neither of us can tolerate discrimination, at all, it's important to recognize that, hey, we've made some progress, and it's been quick. 20 years ago, who imagined that any US states would have legalized gay marriage? That is advancement. While it will be seen by many as a political move, and it very well might be one, Mr. Obama's declaration is, still, a step forward, a very courageous political move that will win him support from some and simultaneously galvanize his opposition, and I applaud him for making that move. I'd also like to see him be more of an advocate for our undocumented population, people with disabilities, and people with addictions. It should be a crime for our government to allow individuals with disabilities to be homeless, rather than (as some are trying to make it here in CO) a crime to BE homeless.

And until a viable progressive candidate comes along, I'll continue to vote for whoever is the closest thing, which in the coming election is clearly Mr. O. If he'd stop the stepped-up deportations and work towards passing the Dream Act, I might even start to like him.

[lemmozine.livejournal.com]

I've now read the 2 prior comments, and I agree 100% with both of them. And with you. And with Obama. All saying the same thing, I think, but in different ways and with different agendas. And yes, Mutt-Abuser Romney as president scares me. A lot. Anyone who would torture a helpless animal is on the road to being a serial killer, and should not be president.

[autographedcat.livejournal.com]

Dr. Benjamin Franklin: We've no choice, John. The slavery clause has got to go.

John Adams: Franklin, what are you saying?

Dr. Benjamin Franklin: It's a luxury we can't afford.

John Adams: 'Luxury?' A half million souls in chains... and Dr. Franklin calls it a 'luxury!' Maybe you should have walked out with the South!

Dr. Benjamin Franklin: [dangerous] You forget yourself sir. I founded the FIRST anti-slavery society on this continent.

John Adams: Oh, don't wave your credentials at me! Maybe it's time you had them renewed!

Dr. Benjamin Franklin: John, the issue here is independence! Maybe you have forgotten that fact, but I have not! These men, no matter how much we may disagree with them, they are not ribbon clerks to be ordered about - they are proud, accomplished men, the cream of their colonies. And whether you like them or not, they and the people they represent will be part of this new nation that YOU hope to create. Now, either learn how to live with them, or pack up and go home! In any case, stop acting like a Boston fishwife.

[shelleybear.livejournal.com]

When it comes right down to it, the transgender population is STILL waiting UNDER THE BUS.
As we are with D.A.D.T.