NEW FILK fresh from Dragon*Con XXIV

[thatcrazycajun]

This was written in a very late night/early morning at the just-completed Dragon*Con during open filk, when mnemex and drcpunk were discussing the notoriously convoluted construction of a certain well-known science-fiction convention's longtime base hotel with guest eminence Leslie Fish. Having had firsthand experience of the place myself,  and having also had a surfeit of music from filkertom at his concerts over the weekend, this started congealing in my sleep-deprived head.

LUNACON'S HOTEL
Music: "307 Ale" by Tom Smith
Parody Lyrics: Matt G. Leger

There's many cons you'll see, me lads, in hotels sleek and new;
Atlanta's Marriott, DragonCon's home and Arisia's Boston digs too.
There's Phil- and Mar- and Balticons and damp Disclave as well...
But I think you'll find the strangest site is Lunacon's hotel!

Chorus:
    Lunacon's hotel, me lads, Lunacon's hotel,
    Some diabolic architect designed it far too well;
    You'll spend your weekend wandering confused and sick as hell--
    There's no place that you'll ever see like Lunacon's hotel, me lads,
    Lunacon's hotel!

It sits upon a hillside just upstate from N-Y-C;
Commuter rail will get you there, but wait until you see
The sixth floor 'neath the second and Floor Two right next to Three;
Lunarians may be used to it, but it still baffles me!
Repeat Chorus

When spring arrives in old Rye Brook - you'd think that folks would learn! -
Like Capistrano's swallows to this rat-maze they return.
The Hilton takes the money from the poor bewildered fen
And some yet wander crooked halls to not be seen again!
Repeat Chorus

The corridors, they double back just when you least expect
And you cannot get where you want because they don't connect!
You'll soon become so turned around, it makes you want to weep--
I swear they move the walls at night when we are all asleep!
Repeat Chorus

There's many con hotels, me lads, but this one takes the cake;
Not even old man Escher any sense of this could make!
An inn built on a tesseract that'll leave you on the roof...
And if you don't believe me, ask the New York fen for proof!
Repeat Chorus: ...sick as hell;
It turns your brain into useless paste, any map you'd draw would be a waste;
But few are built to fannish taste like Lunacon's hotel!

Parody lyrics ©2010 by Matt G. Leger. No infringement on existing copyright is intended or should be inferred. Any use for profit requires prior written consent of all copyright holders; all other uses of lyrics permitted so long as this notice is retained unaltered.

Comments

[hms42]

As someone who has been to many Lunacons in the Escher Hilton, I like!

Queuing up Hype Hilton.... (To follow your new song).

[gorgeousgary]

Not to mention "Hyperion". 8-)

[sodyera.livejournal.com]

Superb! Now we're gonna have to drag you to Lunacon to sing it.

[ladymondegreen.livejournal.com]

I second this idea. Or maybe to Contata! :)

[sodyera.livejournal.com]

I second that!

[filkertom.livejournal.com]

Hee! Not familiar with the building, but good stuff, Matt! And I'm sorry we didn't get together to properly say goodbye. OVFF?

[thatcrazycajun.livejournal.com]

From the author of the tune I swiped, no less! Thank you, sir, and I wish I'd known you were still around Monday evening or I would have looked you up. Songbird and I hope to make OVFF some which way or other; no firm plans yet, but stay tuned.

[mysticfig.livejournal.com]

Nicely done! It seems as if we have more than our share of confusingly laid out hotels for cons. Several years ago Westercon was at a Marriott in San Mateo that was instantly dubbed the "Escher Hotel". Orycon and Norwescon used to be help at an adjacent pair of Red Lions that were byzantine.

[thatcrazycajun.livejournal.com]

High praise indeed coming from you, sir, and I thank you. It's a little-known law of physics that fannish events attract weirdly-laid-out buildings - didn't you know? :-)

[hms42]

FYI.... A recording exists.... (Low volume, but it exists... Something for me to play with over the next few days.... (Look for an email in a couple of days...))

[ericavdg.livejournal.com]

I understand that the old Sheraton in DC, where many Disclaves were held, was also an Escher hotel. Never been there myself; I arrived on the scene too late.

[filkferengi]

Bravo, sir! I've definitely added this to the "songs I want to keep" file.