What not to do when trying to get your first novel published

[thatcrazycajun]

From Bookgasm by way of kradical, some hilarity that simply must be shared:
50 Reasons Nobody Wants to Publish Your First Book
Anyone who's been to a slush-pile reading at a con, or worked in publishing, probably will recognize some of these. I've done neither, and I still laughed. ("No, seriously, where are the vampires?" is easily funny for anyone who's looked at the selections on the shelves at a major-chain bookstore lately.)

Comments

[mshollie.livejournal.com]

LOL! One reason why I decided to self-publish was that I'm catering to a niche audience. The book is in revision for a second, updated edition. I also wanted control over my material. Of course, I had editors (thank you, Dave and Lori!), but they mainly went over grammatical errors/typos/formatting, but I did have some suggestions about content.

My first edition is at www.lulu.com/mythsamerica .

[jannyblue.livejournal.com]

Vampires.

Do.

Not.

SPARKLE!!!!!#!$!#$!@#$!

[katrinb.livejournal.com]

And getting all the blood drained from your body is NOT SEXY!

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

priceless :)

[sodyera.livejournal.com]

How do they do this to us?
How did we let them?
How do we do this to somebody else and get paid for it?