Remember that nifty new job? It's history.

[thatcrazycajun]

It's over. After only a month, I am no longer an employee of HPI Direct. I screwed the proverbial pooch so badly that the Big Boss gave me the old heave-ho this evening as we were finishing for the day. I am now 0 for 3 in attempts to prove I can keep a job. Mary is upset already over trying to finish an application for a New York CDC opening by midnight and needing still more dental work. And hearing this did NOT help. As for me, I am casting about for reasons not to hurl myself in front of a speeding bus right about now.

I'm torn between wishing they would change their mind and being relieved to be out of that pressure cooker. They really were asking me to do three separate jobs. I could barely keep up with two. Too many pieces of work delayed, mistakes in files, thinking I'd sent out things and hadn't, pissing off a salesperson or two...it all added up. I really tried, I worked hard, staying till late at night often, and still they said I wasn't "the right fit." (Which is what they say when they're too afraid of being sued to tell you the truth.)

I have to wonder now if I keep picking the wrong places to work or I just can't work as a graphics person any more. I really am thinking about blowing my fucking brains out...even if I’m too cowardly to actually do it.

Comments

[kitanzi.livejournal.com]

Damn... I'm so sorry to hear it, that absolutely sucks. I wish I had something more concrete to offer, but it does sound like you went to the very maximum trying to give them what they wanted and they decided it wasn't enough - you may, in fact, be better out of there even though it hurts like hell right now. *hug*

[patoadam]

"Like the Mary Ellen Carter, rise again!"

Good luck!

[delennara.livejournal.com]

*hugs*
I have no idea about that jobs, or your qualities at work. But I am sure that oyu have qualities in private, so taht many many many people woudl be very upset if you'd hurt yourself. Work is important, but not THAT important. And from what you tell , you were giving your best, so don't blame yourself. It won't help. There isn't anything but doing one's best, over and over again.
*hugs*

[gingicat]

*hugs*

Sounds like it was in fact a pressure cooker, much like my job. That is not your fault.

Best of luck finding a place worthy of your skills.

[cellio]

Argh. It sounds like that was an awful place -- completely unreasonable expectations and no willingness to actually treat people like people.

Moving to a different city isn't an option for you guys, right?