So Takei is getting married.

[thatcrazycajun]

Don't get me wrong, please. I have considered George Takei to be sort of family-I've-never-met ever since I first became a Star Trek fan, way back over three decades ago. And I'm glad he came out finally, and that he's getting work again, and that he can now marry the person of his choice...as, apparently, he is now about to.

But I have a hard time seeing him in the "brave gay icon" terms a lot of others do. See, he came out only recently, after his prestige in Hollywood was well established and he could do it with not much cost to himself (thanks in large part to more politically active gay men's efforts in the intervening years since the show that made his fame was canceled). And I think of all the gay men and lesbians my age or close to it who could have benefited had he come out way back in the day, when he was actually on the tube every single week, giving role-model-starved GLBTQ youth someone to watch the way young Afro-Americans watched his costar Nichelle Nichols...when it would have really meant something.

Yes, yes, I know, it's his life and his career and no one has a right to expect him to risk life, limb and livelihood for the sake of others' political awakening. And it was a different era, and times were much tougher, yada yada yada. But I can't help thinking that, were I a gay man who had lived with this for the better part of my life and watched him then, my sentiments would be something along the lines of "Thanks a lot, honey. What took you so long?"

Comments

[osewalrus.livejournal.com]

You would prefer he did not come out at all? Because that is the alternative. And you forget that as an Asian American in a non-stereotypical role, he was just as much a man breaking barriers and being a role model as Nichelle Nichols. And, foolish as it may be now, all that would have been sacrificed to no purpose had he outed himself in the late 1960s or early 1970s. He would have become an unperson with no career, and his Asian community would have disowned him.

It is easy for us to judge now that someone else should have been brave. Was it not enough for him to be an Asian American scarred by his childhood in an internment camp that he should have been willing to immolate himself on the altar of gay rights? Did he not break enough barriers as it was?

We today cannot imagine what it was like dealing with this at a time when revelation was literally a career ender. Even in Hollywood, where such things were an open secret, part of the unwritten rules were that you NEVER went public about it, because that would screw things up for everybody. He would have become an outcast even among the community of outcasts.

Human beings are what they are. Bravery is the exception, not the rule. It is why we honor bravery. And better a little bravery later in life than none at all.

[khaosworks.livejournal.com]

It's not as if he really hid it. It was an apparently an open secret among Trek fandom in the 70s, and he was also an active member in gay organizations. But it was just an era that people were closeted - even if it was a glass closet - and that was that.

Even today, there are people in glass closets: Jodie Foster, for example, who pretty much declared her sexuality by openly thanking her partner during an acceptance speech, but still hasn't come right out and said it yet.

It's a personal choice, in the end. I don't think Takei wants to be a "brave gay icon" or buys into that image. That's a role that's been thrust upon him. Fans then to do that.

[sdorn.livejournal.com]

Er... if you're going to go after Takei, are you also going to go after Rock Hudson and everyone else of his age or older? Remember that he was on network television before the Stonewall riots.

[the-gwenzilliad.livejournal.com]

Wow, judgmental much? I guess if you had been a gay man in the 1960s, you'd have been out all over the place, and announced your sexuality on network television, assuming you could get past the censors. After you'd lost your job due to the massive hate-mail campaign, attempted impotently to get your story heard by anybody except the specifically gay press, because not even the National Enquirer would have touched a gay story back then, lost all your savings and had to move into a blue-collar neighbourhood because you could no longer afford that nice place you used to live, the story of your untimely death might not have made the papers at all, or if it did, it would have been buried pretty deeply. And if anybody got wind that it happened when you were walking home from your job at the restaurant or the factory or the laundromat when six guys jumped you and beat you to death with baseball bats, or pipes, or bricks, well, that would have been a sad story. But after all, it's just what happened, and anybody who wasn't an activist might have shaken their heads and sighed and thought to themselves if only you could have kept your deviant sexuality to yourself, you might have lived for awhile longer.

Perhaps this seems like a harsh reply to you. Think of it as me finally responding to one of these posts, rather than just sighing, shaking my head, and moving on down my friends list. It may be more harsh than it needs to be, or maybe that's just my perception, since I ordinarily don't respond to things that make me angry.

But really. How dare you take somebody else's ultimate sense of freedom and happiness and use it to paper your own personal soapbox about how they should have been more of an activist. What cause are you willing to lose your life and livelihood for? Because that's what you're saying he should have done, even if you lace your post with disclaimers and talk about how tough times were, yadda yadda yadda. I'm sorry to tell you that all that dismissive yadda yadda yadda stuff is what most human beings base their decisions on. They preserve their lives and their yadda yadda yadda, rather than martyring themselves so others can praise them after their deaths. Is that a weak or cowardly decision? I don't think so.

George Takei has become a comfortable and secure man, and it has taken him a long time to get there. Rather than kicking him for courage he did not have in his younger days, consider how his story shows that every one of us can struggle with something throughout our lives and arrive at a place where we're comfortable and secure with ourselves one day, even if we're not there until we're eighty. Even me. Even you.

[wolfette]

meh - most of us knew anyway, LONG before he "came out".

I didn't know that Brad was his partner though - he was "out" long before George.

[trektone.livejournal.com]

As a person who fits the description in your last paragraph, I feel your commentary raises a legitimate set of questions.

I don't think Takei is taking on the role of "brave gay icon" with the recent marriage declaration. More so a few years ago when he actually came out. His career probably benefited at the time, though I don't believe he came out just to get more jobs. Okay, a cynical part of me thinks that, but only a little bit. While he was known, I don't think he'd been working a lot in the business when he came out.

Takei was certainly a role model for Asian Americans. I think the comparison with Nichols is somewhat useful as she represented women as well as Black/Afro/African Americans. Her story about Martin Luther King, Jr.'s request for her to stay with the original Star Trek when she felt like moving on is pretty well-known.

I'm sure trying to be a "good Japanese American" and a legitimate actor was difficult enough back then. I can't think of any out gay television actors I looked up to in the '60's or early '70's. Charles Nelson Reilly and Paul Lynde? It's late, maybe I'll be able to think of others tomorrow.

As previously mentioned in another post here, Takei's open secret was just that. He and his partner Brad attended a Japanese internment camp event my sister helped coordinate and it was not hidden that they were together. A marathoner ex of mine mentioned seeing Takei at gay running events in Southern California in the '80's, too.

Back in the '60's, though, I think it was difficult enough to be accepted as an Asian American actor ("don't rock the boat!" "don't be too outspoken!"). Even now, being an out public figure could end a career. At least that's a fear I believe is not unlikely.

There are "white" (for lack of a better descriptor) persons in the media who don't come out when really popular. I'm thinking Lance Bass of N'Sync. And there are rumors about American Idol's Clay Aiken. Heck, how many out gay men of any race are there in American professional team sports, another form of entertainment? This is not a new observation/criticism, but I figured I'd mention it.

In Star Trek, I remember being saddened to find out about Merritt Butrick's passing due to AIDS, but not surprised that he was closeted. And David Gerrold - IIRC he's often drawn a line between his public and private personae, and never denied he was gay. Has Gerrold announced he's gay? Don't recall he has, though I think I'd heard him say once that he didn't think it was necessary and that it was his own business.

So as far as George Takei is concerned, my overriding sentiment is being happy for his wanting to get married. I wished he'd come out sooner, like when his autobiography was published. I do feel if he had come out sooner he might have had a positive impact to us gay folk, especially us non-white ones, growing up in the '60's. However, if he made such an announcement while the show was running, he might've been booted off Star Trek.

[egoldberg.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

I must confess that I was wondering, myself, why George received less backlash from gay fans than he did for coming out formally so late in life.

(...memories of listening to Queers in the Closet as a teenager with a bit of righteous anger.)

[sodyera.livejournal.com]

Would you like a bigger can for all the snakes you've unleashed, dear? Or should I just wheel the dumpster in front of the door?

Wait! George Takei is GAY?

[sffilk.livejournal.com]

As a gay man, I don't think it really matters anymore. I never realized he was gay until I heard him say it. Didn't mean much to me, except it was nice to know. I mean, look at me: I didn't come out to my parents until 16 years ago. Had I come out earlier, I don't know what the reaction by my family would have been, and at least one sister still has problems with it today. She also has a gay brother-in-law who's nothing more than a bum. She also has other issues with me. That's neither here nor there.

You are a dear friend. This time I disagree with you. He came out when he came out, and that's all there is to it. 'nuff said.

Oh, and as far as his getting married, where's he registered? (hehe)