thatcrazycajun | NEW FILK: Writer's Strike, 2007, or Hollywood Déja Vu

Back in the mists of antiquity (1988, that is), I did a filk of "Don't Ask" by Frank Hayes (itself a filk of "Banks of Sicily" or "Green Hills of Harmony," depending on who you talk to) about the Writer's Guild of America-West strike of that year against TV networks and movie studios.

—————

THE WRITERS' GUILD STRIKE OF 1988
Music: "Don't Ask," by Frank Hayes, after "Banks of Sicily"/"Green Hills of Harmony"
Parody Lyrics: Matt G. Leger

The orders come down from the Guild and they say,
"We're all going on strike 'cause they've cut back our pay."
God, it's hell when you know this is your show's last day—
In the fall it looks like we'll have re-runs!

Chorus / And it's March, March, April, May, June, July,
    August, September, the madness goes on,
    And it's fare thee well, all vestige of harmony—
    All of the writers are striking.

The networks' programmers are tearing their hair,
For they can't get fresh product to put on the air
'Cept for Cosby and Carson—they really don't care; †
When you're top of the heap, who needs writers?
Repeat Chorus / ...and it's fare thee well, high ratings of yesterday;
All of the writers are striking.

At Warners' and Metro and Paramount, too,
New scripts sit unfinished until the strike's through,
And the actors sit home, for there's nothing to do
And we won't get new movies this Christmas!
Repeat Chorus / ...and it's fare thee well, big profits of yesterday;
All of the writers are striking.

Well, each side in the talks says the other is wrong
And the public's incensed that it's gone on this long...
Whoops! Our writers just walked—we can't finish this song!
(Play this line instrumental or hum)
Repeat Chorus / ...and it's fare thee well, all vestige of comedy
(Spoken: And drama too!)
All of the writers are striking.

†Bill Cosby had the top-rated prime-time sitcom, The Cosby Show, and the late Johnny Carson the top late-night one, The Tonight Show, at the time this was written, both on NBC.

—————

Parody lyrics ©1988-present by Matt G. Leger. All uses for profit require prior written consent from all copyright holders and payment of royalties per ASCAP/BMI standards. All other uses freely permitted so long as this notice is retained unaltered.

—————

Well, now it's almost two decades later and the WGA is back on the picket lines again, negotiations with the entertainment congloms and their stooges at the AMPTP over revenues for non-living-room-set uses of programming having broken down (see Reuters report here). So naturally, my warped brain started working on an update to that old chestnut of mine, "The Writer's Guild Strike of 1988"...and the results are back of the cut, still in progress.

—————

THE WRITER'S GUILD STRIKE OF 2007
Music: "Don't Ask," Frank Hayes
Parody Lyrics: Matt G. Leger

Well, the order's come down from the Guild once again;
All the writers must strike, like they did way back when
God, it's hell to see history repeat—but then...
It's still better than working for YouTube!

Chorus:
    From March, March, April, May, June, July,
    August, September, there's still nothing on;
    And it's fare thee well, all vestige of sanity --
    All of the writers are striking.

There's more places these days to watch your T.V.
Than sitting in front of that old C.R.T.,
And each time you use one, someone gets a fee --
So the Writer's Guild wants a per-cen-tage!
Repeat Chorus

There's shows on your cell phone and Internet too,
On desktops and laptops to stream for your view,
And even on buses, the signal comes through --
A payday for all...except wri-ters!
Repeat Chorus

There's so-called "reality" shows by the ton,
Where non-actors come on for unscripted fun;
If housemates or viewers don't like you, you're done --
And none of it needs any wri-ters!
Repeat Chorus

The networks have scripts they have stockpiled ahead,
So if the Guild walks, they'll be stood in good stead;
But their state's economy may well be dead...
And the losers are viewers and wri-ters!
Final Chorus: ...And it's fare thee well, all vestige of comedy
(Spoken:) And drama, and game shows, and talk shows...
(Sung, slowly:) All of the viewers are leaving.

Parody lyrics ©2007 by Matt G. Leger. Any use for profit requires prior written consent of all copyright holders and payment of royalties per ASCAP/BMI standards. All other uses freely permitted so long as this notice is retained unaltered.