Fanfic Sampler #7 (NEW story!): Camelot 3000, The Novel

[thatcrazycajun]

Back in 1984-85, DC Comics ran a 12-issue maxi-series called Camelot 3000, written by Mike W. Barr (then chiefly known for writing DC's Star Trek comic) and drawn by the incomparable English artist Brian Bolland (who would later go on to make comic-book history by helping fellow Brit Alan Moore redefine the Joker—and cripple Barbara "Batgirl" Gordon—in 1988's Batman: The Killing Joke). The story combined the legend of King Arthur (the classic Malory version) with science-fiction and social commentary, with the fabled monarch being revived—and his Queen, Guinevere, and six of his Knights of the Round Table reincarnated—to unite the nations of Earth against a race of reptilian extraterrestrial conquerors (lizardoid invaders were a fad back then; cf. NBC's V miniseries and weekly series). After 11 months of spinning a truly wild and entertaining tale, they made us wait nearly a year (!!) for the final 12th issue; but it was worth the wait. (You can buy the series in collected graphic-novel form at Amazon.com here.)

Although the series does hold up surprisingly well even today (and its attempts at taboo-busting seem almost quaint now), time and subsequent comics/TV shows/films etc. have made me long for a bit more fleshing-out in the dialogue and exposition. Hence, in moments of boredom I find myself rewriting key scenes from C3K in prose form, which I don't recall DC ever having done (if I'm wrong, please feel free to correct me). So the Fanfic Sampler series will also include some of my hubristic attempts to improve on, if not perfection, certainly damned high quality. (Who knows, maybe I could even sell it to DC; gotta look up my old pal Bob Greenberger and see if he still has connections there...)

As our scene opens, the wizard Merlin has been betrayed by one of Arthur's reincarnated knights to his old enemy, Morgan le Fay, and kidnapped by her with the aid of the fae creature Nyneve. Arthur, having already suffered a repeat betrayal of his marriage when the reborn Guinevere and Sir Lancelot continued their adulterous affair, summons all the knights to the throne room at New Camelot, an orbiting artificial asteroid donated by Lancelot, in this life a French billionaire tycoon, for the king's use. Even Lance and Gwen, now banished for their sins, are allowed to return...but the reunion is far from pleasant.

—————

     "I do not deny that I planned to betray you, sire," said Tristan, "and if intentions are a crime, then all of us are guilty of a great many evil deeds...but I did not go through with it." S/he thumped a hand on his/her heart. "And may I be trapped in this body for eternity if I lie!"
    Arthur looked at her pensively. "My heart cries out to believe thee, Sir Tristan—but thou wert caught in Merlin's rooms..." Then his face lit up. "But mayhap, there is a way to test your veracity," he said, hauling Excalibur from its sheath at his hip. "This sword of mine was forged by Merlin, as you know...and he gave it many extraordinary abilities -- one of which is the power to cleave truth from falsehood as easily as flesh from bone." He turned it over and extended it hilt-first to Tristan. "It will slay anyone who dares to lie while holding it. Take the sword, Sir Tristan, and repeat your pledge."
   Hesitantly at first, then firmly, the sex-changed knight grasped the hilt and lifted the sword before her/him. "I swear I did not betray Merlin," s/he said simply and clearly.
   "Then I must beg your forgiveness, Sir Knight," Arthur said quietly, "for misjudging you most wrongfully." He took the sword back and bowed his crowned head to Tristan, then turned to the others, still holding Excalibur hilt-up before him. "But if you did not do this foul deed...then someone else in this room surely did -- and I must know of a certainty who the traitor is, for our enemies watch us even now."
    He was right; far below the orbiting fortress, in the U.N. Secretariat building on Earth, Jordan Matthew and Morgan le Fay watched through Morgan's crystal ball even as Arthur spoke. Startled at the king's awareness of their eavesdropping, Jordan looked at the lissome sorceress and said, "He's quite perceptive, isn't he?"
    "Occasionally." Morgan's obsidian eyes stayed on the scrying ball, but her tone was grudging.
    Back in New Camelot's throne room, Arthur went on. "Each of you in turn will take hold of the sword and swear...and the truth or perfidy in your hearts will be made manifest before us all." He turned to Tom. "Tom, you may leave; I know in my heart you have not betrayed me."
    Tom looked Arthur square in the eye. "Your Majesty, with all due respect, I'd like to stay, and take the sword too—not only so the others know I didn't do it...but because I bloody well want to know who did!" He held out his hand for the sword.
    Arthur smiled at his young squire's forthrightness. "Well said, lad! Your boon is granted." He relinquished the weapon to Tom, who raised it high and said, "On my parents' graves, I swear I did not and would never betray Merlin, the Table...or Your Majesty." His blue eyes bored straight into Arthur's brown ones, twin burning cobalt coals of resolve. He lowered Excalibur and passed it to Sir Gawain, who likewise took hold of the hilt and held it high.
    "By the bodies of my family," Gawain said, naming that which he held most sacred, "I swear I have not betrayed our cause or you, my king." He then passed the sword to Galahad.
    "If I had betrayed you, my lord," the former samurai said tonelessly, facing the sword he held, "I would already be dead -- by my own hand...and my own shame."
    Galahad passed it to Lancelot with an expectant look. Refusing to be cowed, Lance took it and lifted its blade to his face. "I may be guilty of one betrayal, my--Your Majesty," he said, "but never a second." His eyes met Arthur's as he said this. He lowered it and his head, and Guinevere took it from him. It took a slightly greater effort for her to hoist it, but hoist it she did.
    "Sir Lancelot speaks for me, my liege," she said quietly.
    "As ever," Arthur muttered half to himself, ashamed even as he said it of the cheap shot. Gwen looked hurt; evidently she heard it, too.
    "What about Percival?" Sir Kay said. "He can't even speak!" He gestured at the hulking Neo-Man, who glared back at him.
    "I will speak for Sir Percival, if I may, my lord," Galahad said, "and vouch for him as well..." But Percival, moving with a swiftness and surety belying his huge form, snatched the sword from Galahad and held it aloft, higher than any of them could, regarding Arthur with a look that spoke volumes more than any mere words. Arthur nodded in acceptance and turned to his foster brother. "That leaves only you, Kay," he said expectantly.
    "Artus, this is madness!" Kay sputtered. "Surely you don't suspect me?" He began backing away slowly from the sword Percival held out to him, a meaningful look in his own eyes.
    "Have no fear, Sir Kay," Arthur said. "Take Excalibur and add its might to your innocence." But his heart had already begun to feel a chill.
    Kay looked first at Arthur, implacable and stern, then at the sword in Percival's massive hand, mocking him. His face worked and his lips moved, as he struggled for words and found none that would serve him. Finally, he uttered a choked exclamation: "NO!!" and started to run from the room. Tom tackled him to the ground and struggled with him.
    "You stinking son of a bitch!" Tom screamed angrily, sitting atop Kay and punching him repeatedly in his long-broken nose and eyes and chin, landing blow after furious blow. "How could you do this to him?!" Finally Arthur bellowed, "HOLD!! Tom, that is enough!" He lunged forward and seized Tom's right arm in mid-swing, about to sock Kay again. Tom came back to his senses at last and allowed himself to be dragged off Kay, who was by now black-eyed and bruised. As Tom looked at the exposed traitor with white-hot fury and murder in his eyes, Kay looked up at his king, shame covering his face along with the bruises.
    "Why, Kay?" was all Arthur said, but those two words carried a world of hurt and bewilderment and anger. He waited for his foster brother to explain himself.
    "Artus, I...I'm so sorry." Kay's speech was halting. "B-but...you were so despondent...even Merlin couldn't bring you out of it. I'd...I'd hoped that losing him would...stir you to action. I never thought he'd really be in danger, I swear to God I didn't. I didn't really think it would work!"
    "It matters not what your thoughts were, Kay," Arthur said grimly. "Only your deeds matter. And while other matters may not be clearly addressed by the laws of this age," he said, with a meaningful glance at Lance and Gwen, "in any civilized nation, in any era...the penalty for treason is death."
    "My liege!" Lance was instantly at Arthur's side. "I beg of you, reconsider! Kay only did what he thought would save your throne, and the Table Round; surely, such actions can never be wrong. Show him mercy, I plead with you." Lance looked him in the eye. "Pour l'amour de Dieu, Arthur! He is your own brother!"
    "What of it?" Arthur snapped. "I do not wish him dead, any more than you! But I am King, and I must follow not my own heart's desire, but the law. He is my brother...yet he will die." He turned to the others. "Ready yourselves to stand witness; the execution will take place at dawn over the Greenwich meridian." To Lance he said, "See that he is confined and placed under guard meanwhile, that he may do no further harm to us...or himself."
    Lance nodded, beaten. "It shall be done, sire. I will guard him myself." He took Kay by an arm and dragged him out toward the security detention area he, as Jules Futrelle, had had built for this fortress, a decade ago. The rest of them departed slowly, heads hung low, leaving Arthur alone to contemplate the  almost intolerable burdens of leadership.

Comments

[osewalrus.livejournal.com]

I remember Camelot 3000 when it came out. I gotta admit that even then, I wondered why sex change surgery seemed to have vanished as a going technology.